Topic: Social Media Change

Recently I went to dinner with a few of my girlfriends from high school. I had been particularly close with them because of our involvement on student council together.We were excited to sit and chat about life and catch up.

We sat down at the table and began discussing the comings and goings, when we realized, that we had very little to talk about. The conversation lulled. I squirmed trying to think of new ways to spark life back into our dying anecdotal exchange.

I wondered why this had happened. We were so close in high school. Why all of a sudden did we lack for discussion topics. I was friends with all of them on Facebook and followed them on Instagram….

And that's when it hit me.

I didn't have anything to ask about their lives because I already knew it all from being on social media. Our conversation lacked because we had already told each other the things that we would normally talk about, on Facebook!

And they knew my life because of what I had posted as well.

Social media has created what I have deemed the "see-saw" effect on our communication. I see what you post, you saw what I posted, and the result is no movement in our communication or relationship. Just an up and down stagnant, boring motion. And no one ever likes to play on the see-saw for very long anyway.

The "see-saw effect" and social media has hindered us in being really invested in our friends. Communication and catching up no longer happens so we aren't able to learn deep things about each other.

Now, even when I know what Instagram tells me my friend has been up to, I try and talk to them as if I haven't seen anything about them. That way I'm able to have better communication with them and enrich our friendship through other things than a blue thumbs up or double tap.

Along with conversation stagnation with friends, we have become a society that walks around like this:

MIT professor Sherry Turkle in her article "How Smartphones Are Killing Conversation" talks about the danger this communication phenomenon:

"Everyone [pays] attention and not paying attention, you end up with nobody talking about what’s really on their minds in any serious, significant way, and we end up with trivial conversations, not feeling connected to one another."

Sometimes we get to class early and rather than talk to our peers about the assignment or get to know one another, what is the first thing that we all do? Instantly pull out the phones to avoid having contact with anyone. Scroll as fast as we can because of our FOMO. But don't we realize we are missing out on the people around us? I think that this video sums up this communication-illiterate generation we have created: (My guess is only one-third of you will get past the length to watch the whole thing)

So what do you do? Talk to the people around you. Get to know names. Start up a conversation. Facebook will always be there. People will always be tweeting. But our peers and classmates are only with us a for a few short months. Take advantage of their thoughts and feelings and you might be surprised what you can learn.